Everyday Systems: urbanranger: message 28 of 46

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Hey all, Only two weeks ago I promised myself that I would Urban 
Ranger through the park every day, and I can tell you that as soon 
as the promise was made, I broke it! There must be some kind 
of "self destructive" gene in my makeup...Maybe I shouldn't have 

made any promise at all, because I think somehow, I cave under the 
smallest pressures these days,,,,even self pressure....I really want 
to do Urban Ranger, I just am having the darndest time, thinking of 
a routine out here in suburbia, that I could do without being able 
to mentally back out of....I am really frustrated about this, and 
aside from slashing the tires on my car and pouring sugar into the 
gas tank, to sabatoge my wheels, I can't trick myself into making UR 
a habit yet....I want to very very much, but for some bizzare 
reason, I am not making much use of the "free time" I have because 

it is lacking a structure...
When I went to school for 16 months, I walked to the train and then 
from the train to the school and back again, every week 
day...Sometimes I resented it, especially in the rain, but I was 30 
lbs. lighter as a result of the daily routine...Now I'm sitting 
around for 75% of the day with plenty of timeslots available, but 
I'm unable to push myself the hell out of the door!
Got any great ideas? I welcome all advise :)
The only thing I can think of now, is a "time" rule, not a "place" 

rule...I don't really have anyplace I go to everyday, since my work 
schedule is so flexible...Maybe I have to just decide that at 9:30 
everyday, I will walk around the neighborhood for 1/2 an hour...But 
I can hear myself saying, in the background "yeah right, you'll be 

sitting on your flabby ass drinking your second cup of java and 
checking the posts"
Help! I am my own worst enemy sometimes, but I don't want to turn 
schizo over this! I just want to outsmart my bad habits....
Love,
Deb